First of all I want to dispute the assumption that this job is one that consists of only Xbox games and goofing off. These things have happened on occasion, but that's part of life - distractions. I'd like to say that I prayed for an hour or two every night, but not so. I'd like to say that I spent hours worshipping in song every night, but also not so.
Neither is that a failure. As I reflect on the time I have been a watchman, (almost 4 years now), I realize that the things that were most important were things that most people would find foolish. Two things come to mind...
First - As a watchman you get the incredible opportunity to experience the discipline of solitude. This discipline is why I am who I am today. Without it the decisions I make throughout the ever day grind would be simply reactionary. Instead I am much more methodical and purpose driven in each situation I come across. Its in these moments of solitude that I reflect on past decisions and take note of how to practically become a better man and Christian. This makes the greatest commandments quite a bit easier to achieve.
"Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind..." - Luke 10:27a
This is the easier part of the law. To love the One who died for my punk ass screwed up self isn't really that difficult. I mean... He saved a wretch like me. Get it?! We are all wretched bastards undeserving of the greatest Love in the universe of universes. Yet, we still receive it freely by the phenomenal Grace of God.
"...and, 'Love your neighbor as yourself" Luke 10:27b
Now this is the part of the commandment where we are called by God to be like God and love the undeserving just as He has. He made great example of it on the cross and continues to show mercy by allowing us to experience that exact way of life through the Holy Spirit. It is only with the help of the Holy Spirit do we even have a chance of loving our neighbors as ourselves. Without His constant guidance we are selfish murderers with nothing to gain and everything to lose. Its when you give yourself away to help someone in need that we truly experience the love of Christ. For in this moment we find Christ at work within us. I'm mean WOW!!! Does that not stir you?!
Second - As a watchman I have been able to be a great many things to many different people. All of them important.
"To the weak became I as weak, that I might gain the weak: I am made all things to all [men], that I might by all means save some" - I Cor. 9:22
From praying for a woman in need of a pastoral type prayer at 4am when there are no pastors around, to spending quality time with the a bro, to being the only friend of a 400lb social outcast - these are my favorites. These are the things that make differences in peoples lives. Sermons, worship songs, and great sayings pail in comparison to the love of one person to another. Relationship - This is when we are living all these things out in real life. - This is true discipleship - A phone call at 3am from someone asking if they could just spill there guts to you or someone hanging out shooting the breeze just so they don't feel the loneliness for an hour or two.
This has been my heart and my life for the past 4 years. Of course I've screwed up just as much as anyone else. But one thing I will not concede is that I wasted precious time. I loved on people. This is my life. My goal. My greatest Passion. I am only able to love because HE FIRST LOVED ME.
Its the miraculous at work that I'm even able to love.
- Justin Pickerel - Once a watchman, always a watchman...
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